mom, dad, im roosterteeth
the bible said adam and eve not adam and swiss fucking cheese
(via n3rdculture)
[video]
[video]
When you asked how much length I wanted, I asked to keep half of it, not half an inch.
(via sensorytool)
(Source: wizardwaffle, via n3rdculture)
A woman came into work today with her twins, Kíli and Fíli.
That is all.
acceptable pet names:
- babe
- baby
- sweetie
- cutie pie
- darling
- honey
unacceptable pet names:
- boo boo sweetie oojy woojy poogy poo
- cthulhu
- sweet devil prince in the pale moon light
- Leslie
- floor
- 2% milk
- Ella Fitzgerald
i think you have these mixed up
Cthulhu is a no? Really? Guess that’s that, babe.
(via sensorytool)